The UPS man showed up early this morning with a package for Chuck-who had no memory of ordering anything from anyone-but promptly opened the package anyway. Beneath the brown paper, was a colorful box displaying these words:
"Telescoping Soup Stilts. Perform death defying stunts while making sure that you never go hungry again."
It took our friend Chuck no time whatsoever to liberate the contents of the box, which were rectangular flourescent grey things made of some substance never before experienced by yours truly. They extended and collapsed as the name "telescoping" would imply.
We took these new marvels outside, and soon Chuck was far above the ground walking on the stilts. He informed us that he was going around the block, and soon returned with a piping hot bowl of Smoked Chicken with Roasted Corn Chowder.
"I looked up in a tree and there it was, resting on a limb. Steaming and delicious. There was even a spoon and a napkin with it."
Without hesitating, yours truly jumped on the stilts and before I knew it I was looking down at the street. Groves and Chuck seemed so small. I could see the tops of buildings, and on top of an especially attractive ranch house, I found a nice mug of split-pea gumbo (no onions).
Groves had the next turn. He said he was going for some genuine chinese won-ton action. He got on the stilts and took off like NASA's Mars Polar Lander spacecraft and we haven't seen him since.
Tell him I said hi if you run into him.