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Saturday, April 23, 2005

Implements Rising

Greetings my fabulous readers. The past week has been very stressful for me, because all of the kitchen utencils that we have here in the cave staged a mutiny. I woke up last Monday to find myself surronded by three steak knives, a strainer and a coffee mug. Groves, Chuck and Mr. Mouse were also subdued and we were taken before the Skillet King, who talked for three days about how unappreciated he and his culinary companions felt. Groves, Chuck, Mr. Mouse, and I did everything we could to let them know that we were sorry but the Skillet King just kept on and on. Finally, I told all of the untensils that our band could provide music for a rock opera about their plight. The utensils themselves could star in the production and we could really raise awareness for the cause of unloved forks, kettles, and bottle openers. They liked the idea and decided to go with it.

The show was a smashing success. Appliances and gadgets from all over town showed up. I watched the Skillet King as he peeked through the curtains and gazed at the throngs of toasters, graters, pots and saucers. "Maybe we are loved after all" he said. He then stepped out onto the stage and delivered a rousing speech on Utensil Unity before introducing us.

Our performance that night evoked tumultuous applause and cheers the likes of which you've never heard. By the end of it every utensil there was our friend, and the revolution officially ended. The Skillet King agreed that he and his kitchen compadres would perform their usual functions as long as they could have a weekly party with all their new friends.

Things ended pretty well I'd say. But boy, what a stressful week.


pinky pinkerson said...

It certainly sounds stressful!

Billy Sugarfix said...

Heck yeah! I'm glad SOMEONE out there can dig what I'm trying to bury. If I ever get that Singing Toothpick™ thing to pay off, I'm gonna have some t-shirts screenprinted that say "Pinky is a Hero".

Should I go all caps with that? Like "PINKY IS A HERO"?