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Saturday, April 30, 2005

Mod Sequence

The Singing Toothpick™ showed up on Monday and surprised me while I was out picking apples. He sang an aria that he himself had composed. The lyrics told me that over on the coast a nest of baby birds had been abandoned when their mother was tragically killed in a storm. Everyone had just about given up on the baby birds when all of a sudden every single cloud in the sky burst into tears of joy and the Sun also weeped and said: "Today we in the sky are being joined by a very special guest. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to the Funnel Cake."

According to the Aria, Funnel Cake then drifted to the ground in a parchute made from royal gowns. She then proceeded to feed the baby birds.

This news certainly aroused numerous curiositys in me, but before I could voice a single one, an Apple up in the tree above me looked at the Singing Toothpick™ and said:

"Why...it can sing any song I name"

"And oooooh that voice" said another Apple.

"Yes" said an older and more distinguished Apple "and it can also compose its own tunes with lyrics taken straight from today's hottest current events"

"Why....it could be....bigger than the ipod!!!" said a group of Apples in unison.

The apples then all started emitting a haunting bluish glow that pulsed, softly at first but made a steady visual crescendo until the apples became burning dayglo shpheres and jumped off the branches and out of the basket and began chasing the Singing Toothpick™.

Just then, the horrifying sound of a giant swarm of bees swept over us, we all ducked down, and the Singing Toothpick™ came up next to me, and it was actually he that was making the noise that sounded EXACTLY like hundreds of hungry and wild bees. He jumped into my pocket and kept on making the noise. I got up and ran out of the field before the Apples figured out that the swarm of bees was not real.

That Singing Toothpick™ and me, we're quite a team.

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