Home of the Surreal O'Rama Song Poem Bizarre Lyrics Contest!!!


Friday, July 30, 2004

Ma Po Popliteal

By the time Captain Lepus had made his way to the bar- a self propelled bicycle, a generation gap, and another mouse had ambled into the Cave. By the time we were ready to play, the place was full of all kinds of folks;

Nosferatu was chatting with Maureen McCormick. The Thompson twins were playing rock, paper, scissors against the University of Vermont Equestrian Team, whose horses were drinking Blue Sky All Natural Soda and flirting with a group of peahens. Fred and George Wesley were playing pinball. Benji was making eyes at Stitch.

Even with all the commotion in the room, I noticed the funnel cake with green eyes that I’d last seen next to the mystical rock quarry from which I got my guitar. She was standing in the back making a marionette do an East Coast Swing dance.

Three of my teeth fell out, which is a sure sign that I’m nervous. But I used silly putty to stick them back in place and said;

“Hi everybody, we’re Evil Wiener”

We launched into our set, and Chuck’s drums sounded like a gigantic cotton candy machine with cool pictures of kangaroos playing soccer on it. Groves’ bass controlled the weather, and even though it was nearly eleven pm, he made the sun shine in the Cave. We were seriously skating over the frozen sea of effulgence, and everyone there knew it. Then, suddenly, the bass stopped and the sun ceased to shine.

“Ouch” Said Groves.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“It’s my trigeminal nerve foramen, it hurts like crazy, and AAAAAAAAAAGH!!! Now my Suspensorium-V. Heeeeeeeeelp!!!!!

Just as I was wondering what to do, I felt an aciculate pain in my xiphoid process, and another in my patella.

I hollered out and then realized that Chuck, too , had joined Groves and myself in this most agonizing endeavor.

Just then an Indian Flying Fox swooped into the cave, landed on the bar and said;

“Thrum-cap, Coil, and Adamantine have taken the Evil Wiener pictures and tied them to the railroad tracks. So now, whenever a train comes along, Chuck, Groves, or Billy are going to be in for some serious discomfort”

The crowd let out a mutual gasp, as my popliteal vein throbbed mercilessly under the weight of a distant train.

No comments: