“You really shouldn’t mess with that stuff” said Mr. Mouse to Nosferatu.
“Users are losers” said Groves.
“And at your age, your old heart just can’t take it” added Chuck.
“Let this be a lesson to you.” said yours truly.
The world went black and these words appeared;
“I know. I know it’s bad. But I used to be able to stay up all night. I would carouse, chase virgins, and feast!!!! But now, I just can’t make it past four o’clock. I’m not as young as I used to be”
“Well then” said Groves “You need to accept where you are in life. Drugs are not the answer”.
Again, we experienced total blackness, and these words;
“But it’s not easy being a vampire. All those negative stereotypes that are so outdated. ‘Can you turn into a bat Mr. Orlok? Do you howl at the moon?’ Fools. Closed minded idiots. Sure, I did some things back in the eighteenth century that I’m not too proud of. But those were different times. I’m a completely different person now. I like playing Tetris, making Prank Phone Calls, grooving to Ambient Dance Music. But does anyone know that? No. They shy from me because they are afraid I’ll suck their blood and turn them into immortal beings sworn to all things evil. All I want are friends that will accept me for who I am, and see beyond age old prejudices such as these”
“Well, you can count on us” said Groves.
“Yeah” said I.
“Darn Tootin’ “ said Mr. Mouse.
Chuck, who was still lying on the ground next to the wall at which he had been flung only moments earlier by Count Orlock, looked hesitantly at all of us.
“Awwwww, what the heck.” He said with a rocky smile.